i already hear my dad disowning me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This is the high leading the old right now
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How does one acquire holy water?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
