His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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