How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize