Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
