Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
