Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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