i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
