Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
