when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
