whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
