I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize