We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
