Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
