So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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