So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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