lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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