maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
