Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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