Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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