you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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