There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
