i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
