Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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