im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
no you cant smoke seaweed
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
