K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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