i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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