I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Where did you get a picture of my penis
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
