I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
