I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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