I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
