I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
