Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize