I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
