so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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