We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
