It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
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if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.