so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
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He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
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That was an excessively violent trivia night
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy