What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Randomize
