i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
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Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
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Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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