who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
FUCK WHALES
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