It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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