I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
