Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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