we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
