is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
