Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had sex on a roof
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
