yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
