Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You left your phone here
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