Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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