I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
