I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
