Small penises have feelings too.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
