I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
