Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
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