It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
