The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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