Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
