There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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