**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize