Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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