Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
how drunk are you?
Several
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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