Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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