i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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